Off Beat!

Moments cherished by myself ~ ah, so precious!  I rarely write these days.  A revelation yesterday – but how do I even begin?  Was life carefully planned?  The answer is no.  Perhaps, that was my mistake.  Without a specific game plan, I’ve floated, as a feather, wherever the winds of life blew me.  A very different path from those that had their whole life mapped out; a specific career, when to marry, have children, etc.  In my younger years to live life so planned out, seemed, well, shall I say predictable, boring ~ I wanted excitement, unpredictability!  If I were to croak at 60 – I am over ½ dead – with only another good 15 years to cause trouble.  How quickly has time passed?

My mind drifts to George in “It’s a wonderful life”.  If I had the capacity to “flash” back to events in my life ~ me being non-existent – what would be different for the other “actors” ~ if anything?  I wonder what ripples I have made upon the energies of the world?

I disagree with those that have often referred to me as brave.  I think I was running; afraid to stand still, afraid to love and be loved.  It is a time of reflection, new body aches, and slowing down to savor life as it swirls around me ~ as a simple bystander, as a participant and at times, just being ~ simply allowing God’s touch to permeate my essence; the very fiber of my soul.  It is in those moments, that the veil between the physical and spiritual world are lifted.  Miracles happen and answers are clear.  My step is lighter and Joy resounds within my heart.  Perhaps had I created a life full of agenda, I would not be able to empathize with the unseen side of my life, other humans, and maybe not even be drawn to the work that I do with essential oils.  If only for a moment, we humans, feel the subtleties of the earth’s energy through the plants, our fellow humans, and God would an inner quiet ensue?  Perhaps it was never the Universe’s intent for me to beat my drum in chorus with all the other drums.  Heck, I could never keep a beat anyway!

The wind has often whipped me around like the loose feather that I am.  I survived, not by chance, but because of sheer willpower not to be defeated.  Here I stand ~ ready to love and allow myself to be loved, to step out and shout loudly “I have arrived”.  I am ready to allow life to flow through me without resistance.  I AM that feather floating upon the wind to heaven’s heights, crashing down to the earth, to once again be picked up to freely float to new experiences and new loves all the while to discover another dimension of me.

To quote Forest Gump “I don’t know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it’s both.”  Whatever it is ~ I like the person that I have been molded into through my experiences, both the good and the bad ~ ever changing, always grateful.